Traumatic Bunnies
by CutsyDrivvenFairy
Summary: Will Naruto be able to help Kakashi get past a traumatic experience? KakaNaru Yaoi


Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, sadly that means we do not own it and have gained nothing but personal satisfaction for writing this. (Lots and LOTS of satisfaction.)

A/N: We are our own Betas and worst critics... YAY for the Three Mad Hatters; Cutsycat, Drivven Labrynth, and FairyNiamh! This has been edited to be more FF friendly. Please look to our profile for more information.

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The buzzing in his head just wouldn't stop! He put another pillow over his head and willed the annoying noise to go away. He'd been on several difficult missions lately, all back to back. He was exhausted and just wanted to sleep until Naruto got back from his diplomatic mission in Suna later that day. Finally his sleep hazed brain figured out that the buzzing wasn't inside his head, it was outside. More precisely, outside the apartment. Someone was ringing his doorbell. Not just ringing it. The corpse was standing on it!

Kakashi got up and threw the sheet around himself. Kakashi always slept in the nude when he was home. That way if Naruto came home unexpectedly, he could stroll around the apartment in front of him, in all his manly glory. He grumpily stalked to the front door. When he yanked the thing open, a girl about twelve years old was staring up at him in shock. She went bright red, giggled, shoved a package into his mostly exposed stomach, and ran down the hallway. He watched her go. He really hoped that this didn't get back to the landlord. That women might just castrate him for traumatizing the girl. He looked up and down the hall to see if anyone else had witnessed the event. There was no one around. _Sweet Kami, thank you!_ He sighed as he closed the door.

He set the package on the kitchen counter. The address label was a little smudged, but it was clearly their address. There was a return address, but no name, just some initials. The outside of the package was marked "SPORTING GOODS", in big letters. Why would Naruto be ordering sporting goods? The blond bombshell he lived with had been dropping hints about a special anniversary surprise.

Kakashi wondered if that was what was in the box. There really was only one way to know for sure. Kakashi was a horrible sneak. He always ruined Naruto's surprises. Thankfully the blond loved him and always forgave him. He carefully unwrapped the brown paper and set it aside. He gingerly lifted the lid of the box. He was excited. He loved surprises.

When he pulled the top layer of tissue paper away, he got one heck of a surprise. The first thing he saw was a clear plastic package containing a carrot shaped vibrator. _What the hell? _He almost laughed when he took it out of the box and set it aside. The next package was a pair of men's underwear, hot pink. The package showed a picture of a man in them. There was a cute fuzzy little white bunny head right at the very front and a soft little bunny tail in back. Kakashi started to laugh, picturing his adorable blond in the ridiculous garment. Naruto was crazy. Then in a moment of complete horror he realized the size was wrong. There was no way these would fit that petite little ass. Oh Sweet Kami! _He expects me to wear them! _Still if this was what his kitsune wanted then he would do it, so long as there was no camera present.

A few hours later, Naruto opened the door to their flat and his mouth dropped open. What on earth was Kakashi wearing? He had on pink underwear with a bunny head on the front and a bunny tail in the back. In addition, Kakashi had somehow managed to attach a carrot vibrator to the underwear in such a way that it looked like the bunny on the underwear was nibbling on it. He couldn't believe his eyes. He knew Kakashi was kinky, but this was way beyond that.

He took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and let it out slowly. At first he was shocked. Now, he was just trying not to laugh at his insane lover. The image of Kakashi Hatake, famous copy nin, laying on their couch, on his side, posing seductively in tiny tight hot pink bunny briefs, with a carrot shaped vibrator would be forever burned into his brain. He knew Kakashi was forever going on and on about how important fruits and vegetables were to a shinobi's diet, but this was carrying it a bit far! He reminded himself that he loved this lunatic and it was their anniversary tomorrow. He kept repeating it as he approached Kakashi, trying to get the stunned look off of his face.

Naruto was speechless. He still had the shocked flushed look on his face when he knelt down next to the couch and gently kissed Kakashi. His strong tanned hands were even trembling a little. _He must have really wanted this!_ Kakashi was still shocked that Naruto wanted him like this at all, but for him to be this excited?? It was obvious that he was working hard to restrain himself. Every muscle was tense and he was gritting his teeth. That should have turned Kakashi on. It usually would, but this just felt sooo weird.

Kakashi's voice only shook a little when he asked, "Is this everything you hoped it would be?"

Naruto blinked and blinked again. He had to bite his cheek painfully to keep from howling in laughter. _Oh sweet Kami, please don't let him talk anymore! I won't be able to stop myself!_ Not trusting himself to speak, Naruto leaned down and kissed Kakashi passionately in self-defense.

Kakashi pulled the trembling blond on top of him. If this was what his Naru-chan wanted, then this was what he'd get, no matter how hard it would be for Kakashi to bear. He just hoped Naruto's fantasy included topping, because he just didn't know if he could manage an erection right now.

Naruto was fighting the laughter as hard as he could, but his shoulders were still shaking violently. He really hoped Kakashi didn't notice.

When the door buzzer went off, they both breathed a sigh of relief. Kakashi grabbed the robe he'd discarded just before Naruto had arrived and shoved the vibrator under a couch cushion. Naruto wiped the tears from his eyes as he opened the door. Their neighbors, Ebisu and Gai stood nervously on their welcome mat. "Good evening Naruto, Kakashi." Ebisu greeted them as he adjusted his dark glasses on his nose.

Gai caught sight of his rival and pushed past Naruto. "In your robe already rival Kakashi? It's not even seven o'clock?! You musn't extinguish your flame of youth so early" He chuckled and smiled that blinding smile.

Kakashi felt sick when he saw Konoha's _'Green Beast'_, even more so than usual. "Hello Gai."

Naruto was grateful for the interruption, but didn't much care for the company. "Can we help you with something?" The original fuzzy eyebrow and the closet pervert always seemed to know when they were not needed nor wanted, to choose to come over.

"Well, you see," Ebisu began. "We were expecting a package today. The company says it was delivered, but Gai was home all day and it never arrived."

Gai looked a little pink under his tan. "We thought it might'a been delivered to one of the neighbors instead and well, we thought we'd ask you first." He looked at Naruto and avoided eye contact with Kakashi. "Don't suppose you've seen it, have you?"

Naruto answered honestly. "No, I've not accepted any packages."

The other couple wasted no more time on small talk, they really wanted and needed their _'sporting goods'_. "Okay, then. Well, we'll check with the other tenants. You will let us know if something comes tomorrow, won't you? Thanks, goodnight." With that the two dark haired men exited the apartment.

Kakashi felt like vomiting. There was no way Ebisu's narrow ass would wear the briefs. _That means..., ugh! _He actually ran for the bathroom. He couldn't get out of those ridiculous things quick enough.

When he came out, Naruto was sitting on the couch absently waving the carrot vibrator around. He was grinning evilly.

Kakashi wanted to die. "You didn't order this for our anniversary surprise, did you?"

Naruto's smile widened.

"You weren't turned on either were you? You were trying not to laugh at me, right?" Kakashi said sullenly.

At this Naruto finally broke down in laughter.

Kakashi turned a little deeper shade of green. "I swear to Kami, I will never ever snoop again!" With that, he collapsed onto the couch and snuggled up to his hysterically laughing blond lover. _Karma is a bitch. _ Naruto thought as he held his rather distraught lover and continued to chuckle.

"My poor Kakashi, you were trying your best to please me. Even if it was a ridiculous sight, thank you for being so thoughtful." Naruto said with a small chuckle and pulled his lover closer to his chest. He briefly wondered if the poor man would need therapy after everything that happened today.

"Why don't you come to bed and let me make you feel better hmm? I'll even top for you tonight." Naruto asked.

"No more laughing, no dressing up, and no mentions of this ever, right?" the scared man asked. It was really rare for Naruto to top so this was a very interesting prospect. Perhaps his blond kitsune could even manage to wake 'him' up.

**-------Edited due to adult content-------**

"Feel better?" Naruto asked the sleepy man.

"Much, now shut up, cuddle me, and let's get some sleep." Kakashi said with a yawn.

Naruto smiled and gathered the sleepy form to his body muttering "Happy anniversary." before letting sleep claim him. He briefly remembered that he should re-package the 'sporting goods' that had been delivered there by accident. Mentally shrugging he thought that he could do it in the morning.

The next morning when Ebisu stepped out of his and Gai's front door, there was a package marked 'Sporting Goods' on the welcome mat. Attached was a typed note. 'Next time just ask them to leave it with the door man! Sincerely, The Whole Damn Building'. It was odd though, someone had scratched the word 'Building' out and hand written the word 'World'.

About a week after the 'sporting goods' incident Kakashi found himself sitting in Tsunade's office receiving psychiatric therapy due to the mental break down he had earlier that day. It wasn't his fault that he was asked by the woman, who was now his therapist, to go and fetch the 'Green Beast' and it sure as hell wasn't his fault that Gai happened to answer the door in that cursed outfit, though much to his dismay, the vibrating carrot could not be seen though it could be heard. He had heard Ebisu calling out for his 'Honey bunny' to hurry up and come back to play. He wondered what he was going to tell his lover when he failed to 'perform' as usual. Though thanks to this perhaps he would be able to get Naruto to top all of the time.

Naruto couldn't believe it. His perverted lover was having problems. Icha Icha wasn't helping. Naruto naked didn't fix it. It didn't matter what he did Kakashi just couldn't get it up. It was getting to the point where Naruto was seriously considering visiting Tsunade to see if she had some medicine that would help or something like that. But first, maybe...maybe he could desensitize Kakashi from the images he was imagining. The first step would be to purchase a cute little bunny rabbit for Kakashi to keep as a pet. He would do that as soon as his lover left for work today. After that, perhaps, he would buy a bunny suit for himself and get Kakashi used to seeing him in a bunny suit. Maybe that would erase his bad memories of the bunnies and help start him on the road to recovery.

Kakashi was starting to get concerned about his lovers apparent obsession with bunnies. He could handle the pet bunny. It was cute and cuddly and didn't remind him of Gai. However, when Naruto came home dressed in a bunny suit, he got concerned. He was beginning to think that maybe his lover enjoyed the thought of Gai in the bunny briefs and that was just frightening. It certainly didn't help him perform any better. He was beginning to think that nothing was ever going to arouse him again.

"Ok, so the bunny suit didn't help." Naruto mused, "In fact all it accomplished was getting me kicked out of bed."

A stroke of brilliance occurred. Naruto remembered the name of the catalog from the invoice inside the box. He'd had to go to three adult stores before he'd found the right one. _Man, I hope they rush deliver. I miss bottoming. _Heck, he just missed having his perverted jounin. Kakashi just wasn't the same man and Naruto had to fix it. He placed his order and waited impatiently for the stupid box to arrive.

_What? What is that? Oh hell it's the door!_ Naruto's thoughts weren't very pleasant as he jumped out of the shower, half toweled off, threw his robe on, and ran for the door. A very shy girl who was about twelve or so stood there with a box in her hands. The box was marked 'Sporting Goods'. The girl peeked warily around Naruto as if looking for someone, then blushed, shoved the box at him, and ran away. _How odd._ Was all he could think. He was distracted. He might finally have found something that might help with his and Kakashi's problem.

Kakashi came home from a tiring day of dealing with genin. He just wanted to shower and go to bed. He prayed Naruto hadn't bought him a stuffed bunny or something. He really wasn't up for it. He opened the door to a very odd sight. Naruto was laying on a sheet of plastic, naked, except for body paint. There were little white bunnies painted across his stomach, chest and legs. Some of them were smeared, but they were definitely bunnies. He quickly closed the door and then raised a curious eyebrow.

"It's edible body paint." Naruto said with a smile. "You can smear the bunnies, lick the bunnies, whatever you want to do. These bunnies are all yours, from me."

Kakashi junior really liked the sound of that. It looked like Kakashi's aversion to bunnies and his other little problem might just be gone. He smiled a lecherous smile that was so very Kakashi, Naruto had to laugh at him. That or the fact that he was tearing his clothes in the attempt to get them off faster. _Bunny fiasco over._ Naruto thought happily and laughed.


End file.
